darthzal

Yesterday, me, Tobias, John, celebrion and a bunch of other friends went out to one of the most popular clubs for students who are equipped with backslicks, fancy suits and VISA cards belonging to daddy-oh. Only we did it dressed up as punks, emos, goths and indies. It was hilarious.

I have no picture of my outfit, but it consisted of a short leopard printed skirt, shock pink leggings, black stay-ups, shock pink tank top and a black corset. Oh, and a blue feather boa.
Tobias dressed up as rocker-emo in black clothes and with blue hair, looking very smashing indeed. I managed to snap a photo of him the day after, when most of his make-up was gone. But still...! We also managed to almost get thrown out. But since that was the goal of the evening, we didn't mind. :)

I actually had FUN going out. Perhaps I'm not as old as I thought. *grins*
Yeah. We just have to do this again.



Oh, and here's proof:

Apparently, I am going to write a B essay this semester. I just got accepted to the course, so I haven't thought about a subject yet... and I have to have one ready by, well, the end this week, at least.
       It has to be related to history of religion, which greatly pleases me, being a "heathen" and all. So, does anyone have any idea? What subject should I deal with? I have to be very specific, so "Norse mythology" just won't do it. ;)

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd   Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Drama Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Musician
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Anime Nerd
Social Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

And once again, my hair is brown! Okay, so nature needed a little push to help me get it back, but... still. I'm not a blonde anymore! That means I don't have to act five years younger than I am...! I say it deserves to be celebrated with a glass of wine, don't you think?
      I'm going to get me one right away. *grins*
      While I'm busy doing that, have a look at this:





Oh, come on, I've done the laundry, I've been to the gym, I've cooked meals for four days ahead, I've written five pages about Asatru, it's Friday night and I'm working the whole of Saturday evening. I think one little glass of wine will do me good. =^^=

I can't stop listening to Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah... and I don't know why.

emilsson and bandykullan both made a happy list, so I thought I'd make one, too. I agree with them - happy posts are not as common as sad posts. Why is that?
      Here's today's happy list:

1. I found two chairs for my dining table and Mum and I made them look really nice by using some nice-looking fabric to cover the old seats. I can now have breakfast at a table!

2. Yesterday I went to a great concert featuring the old Swedish progg musician Zilverzurfarn, and today I went to a concert given by a fabulous guitar player, Robert Karlsson, who is from my neighbourhood in the south of Sweden.

3. I find my new course book on Judaism fascinating.

4. I had excellent Indian malai kofta for dinner today.

1. Hur gammal är du om fem år? Närmare trettio än tjugo.

2. Vem var den sista du träffade? Den sista?! Det låter hemskt. Den SENASTE jag träffade var mamma, som fortfarande är här.

3. Hur lång är du? 166 cm.

4. Vilken var den senaste film du sett? The Return of the Jedi, extended edition.

5. Vem ringde du senast? Tobbe.

6. Hur löd ditt senaste sms och till vem? Till arachniaflora; jag undrade om vi skulle ses på måndag kväll.

7. Vad är dagens planer? Dagens planer var en tur till Stockholm och Moderna Muséet samt en shoppingrunda på stan. Morgondagens planer inbegriper en eventuell konsert på Katalin.

8. Föredrar du att ringa eller skicka sms? SMS. Jag har lite telefonfobi.

9. Är dina föräldrar gifta, sambos eller skilda? Gifta sedan väldigt länge.

10. När såg du senast din mamma? Jag ser henne i ögonvrån.

11. Vilken ögonfärg har du? Blågrågul.

12. När vaknade du idag? 07:30.

13. Har du någon gång hittat en katt? Ja, utkastad från en bil vid vägrenen, men den kom till ett bra hem till sist.

14. Vilken är din favoritplats? Vid Högarör med de småländska träden omkring mig och tid för blot framför mig, eller vid havet vid Stenshuvud.

15. Vilken plats föredrar du minst? Sittandes i ett flygplan.

16. Var tror du att du befinner dig om tio år? I en lägenhet, förhoppningsvis med en katt som sällskap.

17. Vad skrämde dig som barn? Att sova ensam.

18. Vem fick dig att skratta senast? Mamma, när vi skojade om Anders Borg och män med små hästsvansar efter att ha gått förbi honom på stan.

19. Är du för ung för att äga vinylskivor? Nej, men för ointresserad.

20. Har du stationär eller bärbar dator? En bärbar som står där den står.

21. Sover du med eller utan kläder på dig? Sover jag ensam har jag kläder på mig, för annars fryser jag.

22. Hur många kuddar har du i sängen? En. De andra tio ligger i soffan.

23. Hur många landskap har du bott i? Två, men jag har GÅTT på desto fler.

24. Har du någon gång spytt på fyllan? Ja. Första gången höll pappa undan mitt hår som en bra far ska göra. Andra gången var han bara närvarande per telefon som stöd. Tredje gången insåg jag att man kan kräkas på fyllan utan att dö, och sedan dess har jag inte sett det som en stor affär.

25. Föredrar du skor, strumpor eller barfota? Med strumpor, jag är frusen om fötterna.

26. Är du social? Inte på eget initiativ.

27. Vilken är din favoritglass? Jag äter inte glass.

28. Vad skulle du göra om du vann en miljon? Studera i lugn och ro och unna mig fler böcker.

29. Tycker du om kinamat? Ja, någorlunda.

30. Tycker du om kaffe? Nej, jag dricker inte kaffe längre.

31. Vad dricker du till frukost? Te.

32. Sover du på någon särskild sida? Ja, på både insidan och utsidan.

33. Kan du spela poker? Ja, men det är ganska trist.

34. Tycker du om att mysa? Ja, men inte för länge.

35. Är du en beroendemänniska? Oh, ja. Jag blir väldigt lätt beroende av ting, människor och koncept.

36. Känner du någon med samma födelsedag som din? Två stycken.

37. Vill du ha barn? Jag vill ha en kattunge.

38. Kan du några andra språk än svenska? Engelska och tyska, några spanska fraser och ett svärord på bangladesh.

39. Har du någonsin åkt ambulans? Ja, två gånger.

40. Föredrar du havet eller en pool? Havet, för jag badar inte gärna och där är mysigare att vara.

41. Vad spenderar du helst pengar på? Böcker.

42. Äger du dyra smycken? Nej, inte vad jag vet.

43. Har du någon gång testat narkotika? Nej.

44. Vad var det senaste du stoppade i munnen? Choklad med passionsfruktssmak, och dyrt rött vin.

45. Vem är den roligaste människan du känner? De som inte FÖRSÖKER vara roliga.

46. Välj ett ärr på din kropp? Lillfingret som hängde på en skinntråd men tejpades fast igen.

47. Vad har du för ringsignal? Klassisk musik.

48. Har du kvar klädesplagg sen du var liten? Ja, klänningen jag hade som brudnäbb och en pytteliten Beatleströja, bland annat.

49. Flirtar du mycket? Jag vet inte, men jag försöker vara trevlig i alla fall.

50. Vart togs din profilbild för din blogg? På stranden vid Stenshuvud.

51. Kan du byta olja på bilen? Jajamen!

52. Har du fått fortkörningsböter? Nej, jag kör som en liten tant.

53. Vilken var den senaste bok du läste? "Svart flicka, vit flicka" av Joyce Carol Oates.

54. Läser du dagstidningen? Närhelst jag kan slukar jag DN.

55. Prenumererar du på någon veckotidning? Nej.

56. Dansar du i bilen? Ja, lite sådär diskret.

57. Vilken radiostation lyssnade du på senast? Örebros rockkanal.

58. Vad var det senaste du krafsade ner på ett papper? Förmodligen någonting informativt om judendomen.

59. När var du i kyrkan senast? I måndags tog jag en promenad i Örebro och besökte en kyrka som hette S:t Nikolai någonting.

60. Har du läst allt detta? Ja, hur ska man annars kunna svara på frågorna?

I had a nice weekend with my parents, my brother and my wee niece! We went to see my aunt and uncle -- my niece charmed them -- and we went to see my cousin and his family -- my niece charmed them -- and we took walk dowtown meeting people who were charmed by my niece.
      I just realised that I can never have children, 'cause everyone will compare them to my brother's total sunshine of a daughter. What if my child should turn out grumpy and introvert? Everyone would go "Aww, too bad she's not like her cousin" and "Well, she's just like her mother at that age, now, isn't she?" and be all disappointed.

And I shouldn't even be thinking about this, because it is ridiculous. :)


Now the weekend is over, I'm back in Uppsala and I have managed to develop a sore throat. Which sucks, since I planned to go to the gym tomorrow.
       We'll see what happens. Miraculous recoveries do take place, after all.

Anyway. I bought myself a kitchen table today. No more having breakfast in bed, lunch by the computer and dinner in the sofa. I felt this was a necessary investment, as my dear mother is coming to visit me a couple of days from now. Hence the cleaning, hoovering, putting things where they belong... and buying a table so I have a place where I can feed her properly. :)


My computer is searching for viruses and I know it'll find some, since I just noticed them myself. I wish I could just remove them myself, instead of having to wait for this programme to run through theeeee entiiiiire syyyyysteem veeeery sloooooowly...


I think it's time for a spirit voyage. It's so very relaxing and at the same time exciting, as you never know what you'll experience. There are things I need to know, though, and Odin knows them all, so why not give it a try?

I welcome you, Night.

I'm going to Ljungby tomorrow! A four hour long trip from Uppsala to Örebro (where I'll pick up my brother and his daughter) and then four additional hours from Örebro to Ljungby, and then an eight hour long trip back on Sunday... so worth it? No? Yes?

Beginning to feel ill again, which is my cue to staying away from student nations and what-not for a couple of weeks now. My body seems to know what it likes - and above all, what it doesn't like. It doesn't like staying up late and stressing from happening to happening, so it will not be put through another week such as this. I promise you, body. Just hang on one more night.
       Tonight I'm just waitressing a small dinner, nothing worse.

I'm spending this week writing my home exam, so I'm currently burying myself in books on the subjects of theory of religion, myths and holiness. Hopefully I will find my way out of the giant heap of papers on Wednesday,  when it is supposed to be finished. Then I'll relax for an hour or two before it is time to dig into the literature of my new course, which starts on the same day. No rest for the wicked, eh?

On the bright side: I still think it's nice, going to the gym. Actually, I find it much more fun than I thought I would.

On the dark side: It's getting cold in Sweden. Autumn is slowly turning into winter and I can feel it because my hands and feet are frozen and I have to wear two sweaters - indoors.
        It is quite pretty outside, though.

It's been a very long weekend, what with spex parties with crazy themes enabling me to wear lots of crazy make-up, working in the bar the whole of Saturday (or thirteen hours, to be more precise) and having a two hours long board meeting on Sunday and then watching the updated version of Star Wars: A New Hope for the first time in years.

It is HEART-BREAKING to see Darth Vader prounce around as if he knows nothing of Luke and Leia. It's HEART-BREAKING to see Obi-Wan Kenobi become one with the Force. It is HEART-BREAKING to see Luke and Biggs re-unite and then watch Biggs meet his maker. It is... not so heart-breaking to hear Leia refer to Chewbacca as a walking carpet, when I'm sure that she of all people would surely know what a Wookiee is. All the small things...

Still, this weekend is nothing compared to this very day. This very day is Landskap Monday at the student nation, which means that a whole bunch of people will be hanging in the bar until late tonight, dancing on tables, giving spex shows and speeches, . Well, first there will be a long and from time to time tremendously boring meeting, of course, but it will then turn into a long dinner with lots of entertainment.
        I will, luckily, be on the right side of the bar... behind it. So this is another day of working more than twelve hours.

Right now I'm debating with myself whether I should go training or whether I should go for a long walk. The sun is shining, and I can always go to the gym tomorrow when I've woken up around noon. Right?
        I've developed a very unhealthy attitude towards gyms. I have kind of begun to like them.

This morning I went to the gym with Tobias and ended up lifting heavy weights and thus killing my muscles. It was fun. I never thought of myself as a masochist, but apparently I was wrong. *grins*
        He is now trying to convince me to actually start doing it regularly. We'll see what happens...!

Other than that, I haven't done much today except studying primitive cultures; the concept of dirt, holiness, taboos and so on. Very fascinating, but not as exciting as the previous theory studies including for example Marx, Durkheim, Freud and Eliade. Still, I like the whole clean/unclean business and the regulations and rules existing all over the world. Also, when adding religiosity to the whole thing, it gets REALLY interesting.

Did you know, for example, that certain tribes believe that children who are born with malfunctions or deformities of some kind are believed to be hippos? They simply return the children to the river and leave them there. A most fascinating way of dealing with abnormalities, I have to say...


Speaking of abnormalities...
        This Friday, there is a spex party. It should be grand. Spex parties have two important ingredients: Bäska Droppar (a very Swedish booze) and craziness. The theme of the evening is "malicious pleasure". I say no more. Also, I get to give a speech to the honour of the Leg. Yeah. I told you: Abnormalities!
        The only bad thing is that I'll be working a 14-15 hour long shift the next day, so I don't want to get too tired.

It is the secret society for men, the "Order of the Juvenals", is coming to the student nation on Saturday, which means that all men are forbidden among the staff. Which means I steal my boyfriend's job as assistant to the bar chief.
        ...Well, it's not really THEFT, now, is it? >:)

I was at this formal three-course dinner at the nation one hour ago, but I got bored and went home, leaving the people I sat with to take care of themselves or die trying...
        I feel a bit bad about just going home, but it seems as if I can't stand those dinners anymore. Just one hour of casual chatting and socialising leaves me feeling sick and then I just don't want to push it any further. I get tired of it all. Hence, I leave.

I could probably live the rest of my life without attending formal dinners.
        Maybe it's the wine that makes me feel sick? I can live without wine, too.


On the positive side: I have the best lecturer ever right now. He studies Egyptology and is... well, kick-ass awesome. He even makes the subject of "theory and method" exciting. That's not bad. I mean, right now I simply LOVE going to lectures, which isn't bad for a student tired of studying...!

Today we studied chaos and order, as well as wholeness and holiness. Very fascinating. Basically, the seminar was all about what's creating order in our lives and what isn't.

Did I say order...?
        What creates order in my life? Well, uni is. I never miss a lecture or seminar. The rest of "life" is a bit fuzzy. I could live without the student nation part. I don't even want to spend time at the nation, but I still do. I don't know what I do wrong, but as soon as anyone asks for help... well, there I am. Damn me. I should just leave it be.


Oh well. I'm at my apartment now, and I'm buying myself train tickets to go home to Småland, which feels good. I couldn't care less about non-optional seminars and lectures right now. I simply won't attend. I'm going home.
        Please let this surge of negativism... pass.






And I miss you so much, Granny...

hybrid_xisha , dear, I promised to take a picture of the bread-baking process... Well, this is the part where the bread is in the oven and I'm just waiting for it to be done.



(It's me and the Beatles!)


While I'm at it, I may as well post some other pictures of my home, sweet home.



(My mother made the bedspread for me. I'm ecstatic about it, as it is a mix of all my favourite colours. She is such a dear.)





(Yes, Pride curtains is a must.)





(James-Erik got me the little Viking standing in front of one of the paintings. Johanna got me the little white porcelain sculpture which you use to burn wickedly good-smelling oils in. The paintings are my own. The piece of furniture is the one Mum and I carried 3 kilometres by hand. I found it at a flea market and would not let go of it.)




(The two paintings on the wall are made by a friend of mine; my old teacher of arts. The other paintings are my own, although you can't really see them from this distance.)

It seems as if this recent urge to post stuff is bound to end soon - knowing myself - so I'd better just make the most of it while it lasts.

Here I am, home alone on a Saturday night., with a fever. Darn. I should have been bartending tonight, but I decided that it was a very bad idea to possibly infect 1'000 visitors with possible swine flu.
        (Hey, don't you like the fact that you don't get a cold these days? As soon as your throat starts hurting or your temperature rises, it's just GOT to be swine flu.)
        Anyway, I'm baking bread and preparing to watch the first episode of Lost, season five, so I'm not really going to feel sorry for myself.

Yesterday was too much fun to regret staying up much too long, seeing as I felt this fever coming. But I was waitressing at this huge dinner for new law students, and we had so much fun afterwards at the personnel party that I didn't want to go home. I mean, there we were, singing songs, eating delicious pie and cheesecake and having some wine, so before I knew it, it was four o'clock.

The darling was here and dropped off some medicine for me before going to work, so hopefully, I'll survive the night. Otherwise, this is the last post of mine you'll ever read, so be sure to pay darn good attention, folks.

No rambles about religion today, but expect one tomorrow if my head hasn't exploded by then.

I'm currently studying Weber, Durkheim, Marx and Freud, and thus realising that religion really is a more complicated subject than I thought.
      It's not a question about being religious just for the fun of it anymore. Nope. It's got to do with society, neurosis, class, despair and economy. For example. It's very exciting. I thought I was spiritual because I wanted to, but apparently I've got some kind of disorder. Which wouldn't surprise me. *grins*

If society makes you religious... then society should be able to un-make you religious, right? But then again, if society un-makes you religious, there's bound to be this anti-movement making you religious again. There is no stopping it! You just have to be religious, one way or the other. Hee hee!

The class factor is also very interesting. In the States, for example, some spiritual and religious movements are "better" than others; that is, they are higher up the social ladder. This is not the case in Sweden - as this is a secularised country, you would never hear our Prime Minister say "God bless Sweden" or anything like that. In fact, being religious in Sweden isn't very... cool. There is no status in being religious.
      And I would like to see a functioning relationship between religion and opium in these days. Marx couldn't have been to many afterparties, or he would have mentioned the general uproar, debate and - sometimes - hostility, that religious topics bring with them. Hardly like opium.

Oh, I'll just go with the neurosis and despair option, then. I'm religious because I repress these feelings I don't wish to think about. Instead of thinking about them and acting on the impulses they bring forward, I do religious stuff.

The only problem here is that Asatru and Christianity aren't very much alike, and the things Christianity wants me to repress, Asatru wants me to... embrace. So if my religiousity is built on repression... then I must feel exceptionally bad about the Christian impulses deep down in my soul, and this has made me turn to Asatru. Amen.

Anyone following me here? I'm not sure that I know what I'm talking about, but who cares, when it gives me an excuse to just ramble away? =^^=

It's the first day of the semester today, which means that I am, as usual, slightly troubled. I don't like having to meet new people and introduce myself to them, as I know I will most certainly not spend any time with those new people at all, apart from the few hours every week I have to see them at uni. Which is why I don't see the need to spill my heart out.

Maybe I'll just tell them lies. >:)

I have successfully moved into my new apartment, and it's very nice. The kitchen is, I must say, very clean. I can even consider taking a liking to my home for the first time ever in Uppsala. I've even baked bread. Twice.
      (I used the apples celebrion and I nicked the other day in the park, in the middle of the night. We were a wee bit drunk at the time, and the students who actually spotted us in the dark went "Oooh, look! They're stealing apples!" and were all shocked.)

Tonight there is a welcoming night for new students and I have promised to help the spex group try to catch as many of them as possible. It can be fun. We probably get to wear silly costumes - which is good.


Oh, and speaking about nothing, I had the strangest dream about hybrid_xisha tonight. I went to some kind of con, and there she was, a red-headed angel! Then I woke up and was very disappointed that I did not get to dress up as Link and roam the streets with Dei-chan. *pouts*

Yesterday... Coldplay live on stage in Stockholm. We're talking Til Kingdom Come, The Scientist, Viva la Vida, Lost, Fix you, Yellow, The Hardest Part, Lovers in Japan... we're talking confetti and fireworks, we're talking 33'000 people, we're talking kisses inbetween songs, we're talking an energy that never ran out and an eight months old wish coming true. I was actually there. I actually made it.

Today... shopping at a low-price supermarket and studying Marx. And having some port wine, because, well, it's Sunday.
      A studen't life is full of contrasts.

I really like Marx's ideas about work and religion, but they do depress me somewhat. His whole idea of people giving God credit for things they should take credit for themselves, and working for the benefit of the already rich... it makes we want to go, "YARGH! REVOLUTION!!"

Maybe some day I will.

I'm in Uppsala, and I'm okay. I sleep all night and don't stress all day...
        It's wonderful, truly wonderful, to be back and not be miserable. Okay, so I've only been here for one teeny weeny whole day and one evening, but if things keep going in this direction from now on, I may even survive a whole 'nother year, which is all I need.

Yesterday I was at the hopsitel... hopsitel? I mean HOSPITAL... and they said "Your pneumonia's totally gone!", which is good. Then they said "You may still have other problems, though" and I thought, well, that seems logical, I can live with that. But, best of all, they said that "Your thyroid's perfectly okay". I'm so relieved.

Today I'm off to the dentist, to have my teeth properly looked over. It will probably cost an awful amount of money, but that's fine. I don't have to go very often, and healthy teeth are happy teeth, right?
        Maybe I should go brush my teeth.

I miss Ljungby. Days such as these should involve walking in the southern Swedish forests and possibly sacrificing an apple to the old gods, the spirits and the forces of nature. In Uppsala, the forest is a bit further off. Still, I guess I could take Old Ingrid (my bike) to the mound of King Bjorn.
 

First off, though, I'm going to study the life of Muhammad and the origins of Islam. That is today's top priority.

(For part one, just scroll down to the previous post.)


In the land of Hyrule, Ocarina of Time era...

Slaughtering Skulltulas did nothing to perk up Zalan’s mood. Neither did fishing in the river, exploring the dungeons below Death Mountain, drinking tea with Malon or flirting with that handsome guard in the courtyard of Hyrule Castle. She was simply much too frustrated and restless to enjoy everyday wonders. Only blood, she decided, would suffice. Blood, sweat and tears.

                      Preferably someone else’s blood, sweat and tears.

                      As Zelda was busy taking care of her kingdom, Link and some friends were off on some field trip to obtain one sacred object or another, and Impa, Leah and Karachi were busy trying to locate other Sheikahs in the areas outside Hyrule, Zalan was almost out of friends to play with. Almost.

                      There was this boy.

                      There was this horribly annoying boy.

                      There was this horribly annoying boy, a friend of a friend, who was temporarily visiting Hyrule for rest and recreation after having saved the world (or at least having watched the world being saved by others who did all the dirty work), and who now rented a small cottage near Lake Hylia. There, he spent most of his days sitting in the sun, nursing a rod in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. Zalan had never quite understood the very male concept of fishing and beer. Beer wasn’t nearly strong enough to erase the irritation of fishes that didn’t bite or to dampen the nausea originating from the need to pierce worms with hooks.

                      Anyway. The horribly annoying boy also happened to have a talent for mixing strong drinks, and since Zalan was in a mood verging on the border between “foul” and “venomous” which certainly wasn’t helped by the fact that she had run out of her grandfather’s special brew… the boy suddenly seemed a lot less annoying.

                      If only he hadn’t been so pale.

 

Zaion Zerafir wasn’t your usual Hyrulian fisherman. To begin with, his skin was paper white, and the black, straggly hair hanging from his head down to his back would have made any Rastafarian green with envy. He was dressed in a black leather jacket and pants, and orange sunglasses were perched on the tip of his nose to hide his coal black irises. A collection of rings, chains and studs were attached to various parts of his clothes and his body parts. Most of all, he reminded of a raven who had got himself lost in a hen’s coop and who was now debating with himself whether he should impersonate a cock or have chicken for lunch.

                      (No chickens dared dawdling in the area.)

                      Zaion also happened to be a musician from outer space. Well, outer space was perhaps stretching things too far, as he had, in fact, grown up on a space station situated only a couple of thousand light years away from the Milky Way. Which, in turn, was a couple of dimensions away from Hyrule.

                      Shortly put, Zaion Zerafir was definitely not your typical Hyrulian fisherman. What he was, was a notorious drunkard, a relatively successful womaniser and a quite decent guitar player.

 

Zalan had been introduced to Zaion Zerafir as some old friends of her had whirled past Hyrule on a quest to save the world. The world had been saved properly, and as Zaion had taken a liking to the “picturesque little country with the cute pointy-eared people”, he had decided to stay there for a while. Zalan had spent quite a few weekends sitting by his table being introduced to Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters and something called Black Sabbath. Now, Zalan understood the booze perfectly well, but the so called music made her teeth chatter and her spine curl.

                      Since Zaion was a polite young man, he now turned off his little music machine whenever Hyrulians came around. Their ears, he had discovered, were not made for metal.

                      Thus, when Zalan knocked on his door and entered without waiting for any warm words of welcome, Zaion automatically killed his combined audio- and video-playing cellphone (naturally equipped with enough functions to make a complicated computer look silly in comparison). Then he looked up from his work – he was putting together small lures out of shiny metal objects – and eyed his visitor, his face breaking into a smile as he recognised her.

                      “Why, hello, you handsome slayer”, he grinned.

                      As Zalan plopped down on the chair on the opposite side of his table and he noticed the red-hot gleam in her eyes, he swiftly but inconspicuously swept all sharp objects aside and made his guest a sensible proposition.

                      “So, err… as I was just above to have my daily glass of bourbon… may I offer milady a drink?”

                      One hundred and thirty rather wet minutes later, the pair of them decided that  meandering down to the shore of Lake Hylia and writing implicitly rude poems in the sand wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.